Captain Mal Reynolds ([info]ilovemyship) wrote,
@ 2005-11-14 19:10:00
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Current mood: calm

Captain's Log, Entry 40271

Her name was Lola. She was, by all accounts, a girl in a show of some sort. Let me tell you right here, straight from me to you, no bulldust, people, MAKE SURE you cast a wary eye over the neck - and most specifically, the Adam's Apple region - of any new and colourful "women"folk you happen to meet on your travels. Sometimes other planets shape 'em differently to us, sometimes their ways are not our ways, sometimes they have deceptively delicate features...

Anyway. Just thought I'd offer that piece of worldly advice, being the well-travelled gentleman I am.

One of you seems to have thought it would be funny to sew all my manly underdoos together. Jayne and River, I ain't looking at you, because if I do I'll get so overcome with rage because I KNOW it was you that I might just snap and do something I'll end up having to clean up later. Understand me?

That said, I'm still your captain and technically, your wellbeing and physical heath is of some mild relevance to me. Gorramit. Sigh, and such. On that note: Simon, I think Jayne's been eating... random things... again. Get your stomach pump and rubber gloves ready. Oh, I see you already have. Good work, Doc. Hmm, didn't know stomach pumps came in that shape... or with that many "speeds"... Oh well, just goes to show there's a lot about modern medicine a salf-o-the-earth cowpoke like me don't understand. Keep it up, Doc.


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[info]real_shiny
2005-11-14 08:33 am UTC (link)
It's all right, cap'n. I bought some pants recently for a big night with Simon, but then he said he had to wash his hair. ;_;

So now they can be put to good use! I am so happy!

here and here!

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[info]jaynesdiary
2005-11-14 01:39 pm UTC (link)
i think he got nits, amount of time that boys says he's washin hes hair

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]ilovemyship
2005-11-14 01:41 pm UTC (link)
It's just so beautiful I think I might cry. Gold codpieces and shiny vests. What a time to be alive.

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[info]real_shiny
2005-11-14 01:41 pm UTC (link)
Does that mean he needs a gal to groom him, monkey-like?

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[info]jaynesdiary
2005-11-14 01:47 pm UTC (link)
you kin groom me. you kin also sex me if you want.

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[info]real_shiny
2005-11-14 01:50 pm UTC (link)
Well... you smell an awful lot like Simon's been rubbing up against you, and River fed my spare batteries to that hobo we gave a lift to last week, so... okay.

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[info]jaynesdiary
2005-11-14 01:54 pm UTC (link)
kin you call me "babydoll?"

simon does.

s'nice.

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[info]with_my_brain
2005-11-14 01:57 pm UTC (link)
If you agree to bear my children, Jayne, I'll call you babydoll.

Then I'll sell the children on the black market and claim it was you, and tearfully rake in a fortune off the talkshow circuit.

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[info]jaynesdiary
2005-11-14 02:00 pm UTC (link)
i was waitin fer you to ask, you know alls I ever wanted is to bear your kidlets, cherubfluffin. underneath my heart of gold is ...more gold.

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[info]real_shiny
2005-11-14 01:58 pm UTC (link)
Only if you'll call me Vesty McStole, like Simon sometimes does.

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[info]jaynesdiary
2005-11-14 02:01 pm UTC (link)
too uch to remember. littel words, SMALL!

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[info]emosimon
2005-11-14 09:24 am UTC (link)
Isn't that stomach pump GREAT? I found it in Kaylee's bunk. When I was, er, in there to have SEX with a GIRL, Iwasn'tborrowingherdressoranything.

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[info]ilovemyship
2005-11-14 01:43 pm UTC (link)
You should really start shaving your legs if you want to pull off those mid-length summer numbers.

And I didn't want to say anything, but that bikini line really needs a bit of work if you want to have the option of a short little breezy number. We are getting to the warmer months after all - time to trim the spiders, Doc.

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[info]with_my_brain
2005-11-14 01:52 pm UTC (link) 
  /mmmm\                                 
  C o  o D                                
   |  o |                                 
   |  _ /              WHO AM I ???       
   |_u_|     ___                          
   |_u_|    /   \      I'M SPIDER-MAN !!!!
   |_u_|    |   |                         
    | |     |   |                         
   / | \    |   |                         
  ( )Y( )__/   /                          
.__-----__.__/

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[info]ilovemyship
2005-11-14 10:26 pm UTC (link)
Never have I known brackets and the letter "y" to be so profoundly disturbing. What did they DO to you in that institution, River?

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